The Only Constant Thing, Part 3.

writing abot change
Photo by hay s on Unsplash

I feel like my insides are turning. I feel itchy inside and I cannot even scratch to that length. What to do? I am at the center of this, I am the initiator of this change. I yearned for it and when it came, it was such a wave that I couldn’t take control of it. Now I feel helpless because at least I can take the hit. But poor are those who are around and close to me. The change caught them by surprise. While I have learned to let go, they have clung to my old self, younger in age though.

I stop at moments and wonder what I can do to help them. At the same time, I am reminded to see the importance of this change. I am reminded to perceive with my spiritual eyes. Indeed, when I go within, I see the importance of whatever experience I am having. The challenge is that those who are around me, are not aware of their spiritual gift of perception.

So, while it is challenging for me on the physical level, they have it rough. I abandoned most traditions that were engrained in me by society. Now most places I go, are pretty uncomfortable because the new energy I contain does not match the external energy. The traditions that I dropped do not feel comfortable anymore. I cannot join my old friends in their traditions.

With nothing else to use to change my mind, all they can afford are threats. So, they rush to say that I am depriving myself of certain elements, and that I will face the consequences. Most of the new practices that I have picked are questioned and associated with darkness. Remember, we are the ones that give darkness the scary characters. The new traditions are in fact, known, it is just that they are associated with fear. They have not been tried and tested.

Spending time with family used to be so enjoyable and fun, but now I am forced to be more secretive. Not because I feel that what I do is wrong. They are the ones who would be uncomfortable with what I do and believe in. But how did I get here? My inner state is lighter than it was in the old energy. When I shook all that off, I felt like I had let go of some heavy burden. So, while all this new energy has been a blessing to me, it is a curse at the same time, for those that are closer to me.

People prefer that I go back to the old version, because that is the person they knew. They do not understand the current version. This has caused a rift because in the current state I cannot go back to the old self. I would not survive a minute in that situation. My old self was a victim of circumstance who thought he had no control of life. The old self had no sense of spiritual direction. Most times he believed that only other people could rescue him from these circumstances.

So here I am asking myself, pondering ever so often on how I can help those who are close to me to see the new self, and accept him as he is. Why would anyone want the return of the old self? But I feel like this is like a software upgrade that once done, cannot be downgraded at all. At this juncture, all I can do is wait for new upgrades. And this means that older versions of me are going to be discarded even more. This is surely going to bring more fear for those who cannot fathom what I am going through.

There is a spiritual shift that is going on now. It is funny how we do not see the changing of tides, yet we wake up to watch, listen and read the news every day. Most times, the signs of change are given to us, they are flashed right before our eyes, but we are so used to the old ways that the new traditions now are interpreted as threats. We cannot perceive them anymore. Well, isn’t this the thing that we are always waiting for? The end of the old and the beginning of the new.

Change is unsettling. We may have focussed on the sweet side of things so much that we have become afraid of welcoming change with open arms. This change is here to shake up the mountain layer of fear that we have protected ourselves with. So, it will obviously be uncomfortable to handle. When you first interact with a stranger, you will not be open with them until you know that you can trust them, and so it is with change. What do we do about those who are close to us, our loved ones who feel that they have lost us? It may be hard to believe, but there are times that you need to separate yourself from them, for you to see the essence of the change and the process at large.

What I have experienced, however, is that however much you separate yourself from other-self, you will always be connected. This is like trying to run away from yourself, which is not possible. When the time is right for a change, there isn’t much that you can do other than let it take place. As much as it will not seem to other people that the change would be necessary, you are the one who will be experiencing the change, so more responsibility falls on you to decide whether you will discard the change to make other people happy.

My friends, the spiritual teachings are full of teachers who have been on the face of the earth with the message that we can save ourselves. As much as you may think that you cannot save yourself from these challenges the opposite is true, you are more than capable. I guess the sad truth that becomes apparent when one has gotten on the journey of change is that you cannot save others, as much as you may want to. This change is tied to your life path, you cannot evade this transformation, because it is for your own good.

We are all called upon to embrace this transformation, it is more of an evolution of the soul. Be still and let the waves move. Be like water and allow yourself to flow with the tide. You may fear your new self, but you will get used to it with time, and you will definitely get to like it. Maybe, sometimes we won’t know the essence of change until we get to the other side, and see the advantages that it has brought us. With each transformation, we will always be better than we are now, allowing change into our life, even if those close to us do not understand the essence. Nobody knows you more than you know yourself, not even your parents. Let us pray.

“Dear spirit, I pray that you may guide me to new beginnings. Thank you for my ability to learn and grow. Thank you. And so it is.” Namaste.

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