You Have Not Gone Through What I Have Gone Through.

woman standing on ruins
Photo by Parij Photography from Pexels

Most times when people are talking, it is common to hear one saying that none of the others have gone through half of what they have gone through. It is common when friends meet up and suddenly everyone begins to share their story, more so on the challenges that they have encountered in life.

Everybody seems to think that, for one to achieve the goals that they have been able to achieve, then they (other people) must go through similar circumstances. Well, my question here is this, ‘who said that I have to go through what you have gone through’. We are not gathering the same karma in life, are we now? We have different lessons to learn. The same way people say that there are those that are blessed for no reason, while others suffer for no reason. Yet to the observer you will wonder why someone that you consider to be ‘bad’ is still being blessed and living a long, peaceful life.

We have obviously been taught that we should do good and leave a place better than we found it. Obviously, this is if we want to be blessed. At least most of us have been taken through this training. It is important to consider that the experience that one is encountering goes beyond what appears to our eyes. Most times we put too much logic in the interpretation of our experience in life. I know most people would not agree that they have a saying in how their life turns out. It is because we think that whatever becomes of our life is beyond our control and only the creator knows our fate.

Through this life, everyone gathers their own karma, as in lessons, and it is throughout this life that we learn these lessons. Do you think you planned to live as you do now? That you chose the place where you were born? And so, with all the planning, everyone has unique or different lessons to learn. We may have a similar goal, but the way in which we approach it is going to be different.

Let me use the example of musicians. They all use music as a form of expression. Well, it is obvious that some of them hit the surface faster than others. Is it also not in the open that some of them are seemingly more successful than others? While some of them are ‘one-hit wonders’, others stick on the music scene for quite some time. Do they all go through similar challenges? Of course not. And just how many genres are available to choose from? So many, obviously. Yet the musician only chooses one that feels right for them. Obviously, when they decide to start singing, they are aware that other musicians are also doing the same. They know that they are not the only ones to choose this form of expression.

It is only the technique that shows the uniqueness of a musician and separates them from the rest. I have never seen a musician quitting just because there are many other musicians who are already practicing the skill. Some of them are meant to stick around the scene long enough while others will disappear within a short span of time. So, it is with life. I have chosen this example because just like music, life itself is a form of expression. Conception is something that is universal. It takes the same amount of time for any given humankind to develop while in the womb. So, it seems we all have an equal starting point.

The difference comes with the place and time where one is born. It is from here that our environment shapes us. While we may not remember the goal that we have in life at this young age, it is still something that each one of us has planned. After we learn how to survive physically, then we can become aware of the goal that we have in life. Of course, we have challenges as we grow older, and some might take the challenges to be steppingstones, while others will view them as stop signs. It weighs heavily on the individual’s ability to discern the signs.

I had to go so far as conception to drive the point home. From this point on, there are factors that shape your life. The observer’s perspective is usually different. And who is the observer if not you, looking at another person’s life from the position of your life? It could also be an external entity looking at your life from the perspective of their life experience. Sometimes when we compare too much, people get defensive, and they begin to point that, others have had it easy in life.

In the end, if we made a deal to swap the challenges that we have had, I am sure everybody would want to have their challenges back because the other person’s challenges would be difficult to deal with all the same. I have said once before, that even if we were handed a cheat sheet to life, we still wouldn’t live it the same way. Why? There are infinite possibilities available to experience. And while you think that you are having it difficult, another person may have a different version of difficulty- I am just using difficult as an example because it is an adjective that most people are familiar with. It is to show the extent to the degree of the situation at hand.

So today, if you see that you have gone through many challenges, be grateful for where those challenges have brought you. In seeing the challenges, then it means that you have already learned your lessons. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but we are always a lesson unto other people. This could be through the challenges that we go through. You may have encountered certain challenges so that you become a teacher and in turn teach people how to avoid or overcome some of those challenges.

The next time you find yourself in a setting where everybody is sharing their challenges, pay attention and see what you can learn from their message. There is always an opportunity to learn. Be careful though because what you say about yourself and life, mirrors itself back to you. This could be a fine chance to see where you are and where you are going, as opposed to what you have already gone through. Some people are fond of complaining because they think that it is only to them that life has been tough. They compare with those who have supposedly had it easier. Focus more on what your past has taught you. Once you see the lesson, detach from it.

The lesson has been learned already. If you cling to the past situations, then they will always be part of your life and every time you will be in a meeting with other people, you will be talking about the same old challenges, while other people’s stories may have changed already. What do you learn from your experience? Do you still think that you need to suffer to attain something or to learn something? You must have learned some life lessons by now. It is time to use them and move on from the sad old story. Namaste.

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