The insanity of wanting to be in control

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

Whatever wants to control you does so in fear, and so the same applies to you wanting to be in control of how things should go. You do so in fear that without you, then they will not run smoothly. Is this not true? On the other hand, those who are controlling you are using fear to do so.

Who wants to control us? In society, there are various instances where we are controlled and there is always an agenda where control is used. Are you aware that they are always using fear to control you? Let us drill down to the basic unit of organization which is the family. Parents sometimes want to be in control of the life of their children. So, they tend to use fear as their weapon. They will tell their children to do what they (parents) say, or else there is a consequence to be faced later. They will use the things that children love as ransom. The children hold these things dearly, so they are in turn afraid of losing them. Does this sound familiar?

Let me use an example. You tell your child to do something, or else they will not get that toy or doll that they wanted. This is fear being used to control children, and the older they get the more fear is used. You could hold on to their pocket money, and many other things. This is how we are trained, and we take our children through the same. They will also do the same to their children because of the programming of this world.

Most rules that are created are always to instill fear in us. You can always see it in the underlying consequences. It has generally made us think that consequences are punishment for the choices that we make in life. We have made s many rules so that we are always living in fear of breaking them. You could be made to pay for breaking a law. You could even pay with your freedom, by giving it away. This is the most common fear, for most people. For kids, they could be grounded or sent into detention. Older people are obviously sent to jail for breaking the law.

We tend to think that we are free, but the moment our freedom is threatened we succumb to fear. So, whoever is using your freedom as ransom for you to follow certain rules is controlling you using fear. They are aware of the fear of perceived loss of freedom. They know how it will affect you. They are aware that you hold it dear. We also learn this training and we tend to use it, even on the ones that we claim we love. We have seen gangs kidnapping people then later demanding ransom. This is clearly fear and control in action. They know that they are in control of the negotiations because they possess something that you are afraid to lose.

Most of us would not agree that most governments use fear to rule their subjects. It is quite common for most rulers to overstay their tenure in power, and they use fear to control others. These leaders always portray that they are the only rightful leaders who can take the country to the right direction. In other words, they even fear letting go of the leadership position. Most leaders who stick in power too long use cunning ways to achieve this goal. They will silence all the opposing figures so that others do not oppose them. In the end, most people will just accept their leadership.

Have we not seen this before? Before anyone opposes these leaders, they are reminded of what others have gone through or what consequences they may also face for their actions. The whole nation, therefore, sits back and accepts to be led by self-imposed leaders. This is clearly using fear to control other people.

There is what I call the beginning of all this fear and control. It is in religion. This is where you are told that, if you do not do this or that then the creator will punish you. Those who pass this information do it through the written scripture and they usually claim to be anointed. So, whatever they say should be taken as is. Have we all not heard that we should not question what is in the scriptures? That if you ask questions, then you will also be punished? It is from the scriptures and religion that most of our laws are derived.

The application of these laws starts out in the family then spread outwardly in bigger organizations. As much as religion has a purpose in teaching us the love and ways of leaving in harmony and oneness, for the most part, it has been fabricated and therefore misinterpreted. While most are not aware of this, those who are, use it in their favor to rule over the others. They use fear to control the believers of the relevant religion.

People are usually given some set of rules to follow, and the consequences are taken as a punishment. Do you ever not read the fear in this circus. If somebody tells you not to question what they tell you, does this not raise an eyebrow? This is so authoritarian and is meant to drive fear in you, so that you only do what they tell you and not otherwise. They say that the truth sets us free. But most of us are not aware of what it sets us free from. You were born and trained on what to do, so you do it without question.

The truth, my friends, sets you free from fear, this fear that wants to be in control always. Even within you, fear keeps you wanting to control everything in your life. You are afraid to let go and experience life to its fullest. While you think that you are so smart and powerful and in control, you are just being controlled. While you think that you are so powerful, what you are, is afraid to lose this imaginative or illusive control.

You think that your power is defined by control, but true power lies within, and it is in letting go, in acceptance and surrender. If you seek to control, then you are acting in fear, thinking that nothing is going as you want it to be. So, you live wanting to put things into balance, thinking that someone must play this role. What do you fear? Is it that everything is already in order and perfect balance? Is it because you like to thump your chest and say, ‘I did that, without me, it would not be there, without me they would not have made it?’

When you constantly want to be in control, you do not let things flow smoothly as they should. Even when change comes your way, you will want to control it. How helpful is this to you? With so many people fighting to be in control of one thing or the other, has the world become a better place? The obvious answer is, No. Is this not why we keep saying let us make the world a better place? Yet we still have wars between nations, wars between entrepreneurs wanting to control business. The ‘big shots’ want to control the economy of the world. Has this brought any cure to this insanity?

Being in control is what brought insanity into this world, and certainly, it will not be the one thing to bring in sanity. It has been said that the same mindset that created the problem cannot be the same one that creates the solution. What change do we need to allow in our life, individually and collectively? Let go of control. Seek true power within, or rather stop seeking and begin knowing the true power within. There is more to just believing what you hear, believing what you see, believing what you are trained to do. There are infinite possibilities, and you experience this only if you let go of control. Otherwise, you will keep going round and round in your own foolishness, thinking that you are in control. Do you now know who is in control?

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