The Bond Between Us Weakens, More And More.

holding hands
Photo by Anete Lusina from Pexels

A friend of mine once asked this question on a social media platform, ‘why do you need a gate to protect you from another person?’ when I saw the above question on the platform, it reminded me that I had asked myself that same question at some point. I was wondering why we humans tend to separate from one another. Instead of building bonds, we are increasing the gap between us.

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend over the phone, and I mentioned to her that it is common for humans to purchase large fields, fence them then build a big gate. The gate will be there to lock people in and those who are out are obviously barred from getting access. It is more of a barricade than a purpose for beauty. It is always built with a sense of keeping the robbers away. The main expectation here is that a thief may always come to steal from you. So, the assumption is that thieves are those lazy people who wait for you to amass wealth, then they come and take it without permission.

When we are out of these barricades that we call fence and gate, we portray a different image altogether. We tend to show that we care so much about other people. We want to be seen mixing with people from all walks of life. Furthermore, we end up doing charity work. You know, inner reality is the same as outer reality, right? This thought or expectation of someone coming to attack or steal what you have worked hard for is just fear hiding under a different name. I know that I have talked about fear in almost all the articles, but fear seems to have spread its roots in all facets of this experience.

Is it not common for people to be told that they should be awake to guard their hearts against he who comes to kill and destroy, or devour? These kinds of messages are misinterpreted, and the effect it has on us is that we have closed our hearts to ourselves. That is what is being reflected on the external. Instead of coming closer to other self, we are moving further away from other self, more and more. The reason for this is quite simple, we are internally moving away from ourselves too. We have put a barricade to protect ourselves from ourselves, thinking that we are protecting ourselves from danger, but in the real sense, this is just fear in action.

You do not know yourself, so you end up putting a barricade to block your true self. It is obvious that if you do not know yourself, then you will not know other self. Your actions will be misguided on ignorance. Most times you think you know yourself and that is what you tell people. Is it not also true that a bigger percentage of what you think you know about yourself is dependent on how people react to you? It has been said once that we know who we are as people react to us.

This is entirely dependent on external relations and interactions. This is how most of us describe or define ourselves. It then translates to how we relate with other people through comparison. You want to compare people’s position vis a vis your external character. Eventually what you see is the difference between you and other self. This is what we give precedence when interacting with other self. This is why we keep pushing further and further from other self.

You always feel like you need to protect yourself from other self. In reality, you should be aware of your connection with other self. Take that diversity as uniqueness instead of a difference that puts you on one side and other self on the other side. For this to occur you must understand this connection first. This is not something that happens externally, rather it does internally.  Then it would be possible to live with other self without building barricades. You can always disengage from external consciousness without building a physical barricade.

Do you understand yourself? Are you aware that within you, most times you are always having so many ideas and feelings and they keep changing? If you are aware of these changes then you will not identify with either of them. You will be the observer. If you understand this then, whatever you practice in your inner reality will reflect what you interact and engage with in outer reality. There will be no struggle because there was no struggle in the inner reality.

The more you understand yourself, the more you see the connection. You will not need to protect yourself with a barricade at all. You will make better choices -conscious choices- as opposed to the times that you make unconscious choices. If you love yourself so much and relate well with yourself, your relationship with other self will be effortless. Sometimes if you pay attention to life, you will realize that most of us are after the same thing. We all want to be happy, to stay in a clean environment, to enjoy life generally. So, what makes you think that it is the other self that is keeping you from having what you want.

Let me save you time and worries by stating that you are the one standing between you and all these things that you want. Nobody can block you from your desires, except you. Perhaps I should have said this earlier, that if you relate well with yourself, nobody is going to have a problem or issue with you. People see you as you perceive yourself and as you carry yourself around. Most times I want to stay in a clean environment, so wherever I am, I clean things for my own sake. I do it for me because to me all that matters is, the environment should be clean. I am not going to wait for the other person to clean it. What if they do not clean it? will you say that they are keeping you from enjoying a clean environment? I hope you see the options that you have in this scenario, you can always clean the environment or come out of that place or space altogether. You always have a choice.

Before you think that someone else other than yourself is responsible for you, think twice. You are responsible for yourself. If you take your responsibility seriously, you will find yourself leaving in harmony with others. Obviously, you will not stay in spaces that do not resonate. You are still going to have good relations with other self because you will understand their uniqueness. I have friends that resonate with different things, so I choose to see those that we have in common. As much as I am aware of these ‘differences’, I focus on those things that I appreciate about them. By so doing, we do not always have to try to change each other, so that we conform to each other’s standards. This would definitely create a rift between us.

If you keep doing what resonates with you, you will soon find matching energy. So, without struggling, you will attract the same energy that you project. I cannot stress enough that this will teach us to come together and see the connection between us. Otherwise, we will continue seeing the differences and cut away the connection that we have with other self. This creates a lot of struggles for us. That is why you feel threatened by the other self. We have already been told that it is a man-eat-man society, so you come prepared to protect yourself from the perceived evil of other self. You need to stop believing in everything that is flashed from right to left and be aware of what you are choosing to be your truth. This will help you or guide you to create your inner reality. True wealth is within. Have you thought about the meaning of that phrase?

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