For a whole year, I was hermitting. I mean, I would engage in conversations with other people, but I rarely shared what I felt deep within me. The truth is, I was busy shaking my belief system. This was through questioning. With every question, I was always led to an answer that was in form of a question. That is how deep I kept going into the rabbit hole. I just thought that if this were making me doubt what I had been taught for a long time, what would other people think if I opened up to them?
Some people in my circles had already started noticing the change that I was going through. Although they could not point to any specific thing. They just said that I was different and that something had happened to me. They were right about the change and about something happening to me. The biggest loss to me at the time was, I could not describe the changes that were occurring in me either. How was I supposed to explain something that I did not understand to other people? I felt like I needed more understanding.
I had never imagined that keeping an open mindset could lead to all the revelations coming into my life, compared to the no nonsense stance that I had taken to approach life before. Before this changes, it was either something was tried and tested or real but now I was questioning what was really real. Reality just seemed like nothing I had been taught by the society. From the moment I opened my mind and allowed this new information to come in, I called myself a believer. I told myself that anything and everything was possible.
All this started when I told myself once, that I wanted to search for the truth. Just how did I get here? After reading Drunvalo Melchizedech’s book on ‘Ancient Secrets of the Flower of Life’. I was fascinated by the sacred knowledge he had to share. I read both volumes more than twice, and every time I found something that I had missed the first time. I kept asking myself why I had never come across such form of information before. I took a lot of interest thanks to this book, and I still do sacred geometry art now.
My search for the truth led me to so much knowledge, and I had to decide which one was right for me and which one was not. This is where I began to form my ow truth. I realized that there was no general truth for everyone. The thing that mattered most was for one to have their own truth. One that they believed in. This is why I began calling myself a believer. I believed in what sounded right for me. Before long, I was sharing little snippets of these truths with a few friends. Of course, most of them found the information ridiculous. That helped me to know how to communicate such form of information. I mentioned it in a way that it did not sound that I believed in it fully.
After about five months of research and extensive digging of information, I decided that I would begin practicing what I had learned. I had stopped once and asked myself how long I was going to learn without really finding out for myself what it was I was believing in. Meditation was the first thing that I begun with. There were so many forms and types of meditation with different mudras that came with them. Ofcourse, I had read all I could about the practice. There were advantages that it was associated with, I wanted to experience these advantages. That is how I pushed through the challenges until I felt that I was doing it right. This taught me to exercise patience with myself.
One year later I was deep into some esoteric knowledge. I felt like the search for the truth was never ending. I had stopped actively searching, but every time I would bump into information that was useful for my understanding. I felt like I was gaining more understanding than when I was anxiously searching for this truth. It was now a river that was always flowing. It was as easy as asking myself a question and hearing an answer come right away, or I would find myself writing the answer in my journal. Journaling is also something that had helped me through this journey. This is where I recorded conversations with myself. They were not necessarily in the form of question and answer, but most times I wrote as if I was addressing myself. It seemed like I was guiding myself. This was the best way for me to begin to trust these communications.
I still stumble upon new knowledge, even more than what I learned from my teachers. I never met my teachers physically by the way. It was all through books and the internet. To think of it now, it was more of a long-distance learning. I know the biggest part was for me to practice what I learned, and that I did. There came a time when I felt like I needed to preach what I practiced, but some part of me kept telling that I had to wait a little longer. I seemed to be growing impatient, so started looking for small opportunities to teach others what I had learned.
Most people could not believe me, so I learned the hard way and had to wait until the time was right. So, for one year, I kept getting visions and messages of what I would be sharing with other people. It was so real to me. It felt like I was already doing it. The name or address of this blog also came to me at that same time. It was not a one-time thing. It kept coming so many times. I have had visions for things that I have not yet begun to do yet. It may be a long story but that is what my search for the truth did to me. Right now, I feel confident in whatever I have been taught together with those that I have had my own experiences.
In my opinion my experiences have been my best teachers, but I am still grateful for my teachers who introduced me to this knowledge. I feel like my skills are growing by the day, all thanks to my consistency and belief in myself. Perhaps the biggest lesson I have learnt so far is trust. Especially for myself. For a long time, I was always doubting myself, thinking that I was not able to do some things. I think trust is something that I continue to learn, since I get new lessons every day. There is always something to learn.
Now I get to share my truth with you. The choice is yours to believe it or not. That is your own free will. But still, the messages continue to flow, and I will continue to share them for as long as I get them. What is your truth dear reader? You have the power to discern. Tear through information that comes to your face, and find what feels right for you.