I have been working since morning. I get up and head for the wardrobe but stop mid-way, I think about doing something else. Something that I will be at ease with. Something with less amount of pressure. Something that I love. This is not the first time I am going through this. Especially this week. I feel like my passion is calling me yet again. Where is the motivation coming from? Expression of course.
Not a day passes that I do not hear, or read, or see artists expressing themselves. Everybody is an artist. The question that comes to my mind is, if they can do it, whatever it is that they are doing, why not me? This, of course, is not a comparison, because I recognize that we are masters at our own craft, numerous crafts.
They do it with such flow and it makes me want to do my best. It makes me to want to give a hundred percent to my passions. What am I doing making my passion a part-time affair? I am already suffering the consequences. The results are reflecting the exact input!
I start to have regrets, and feel bad for myself. While I enjoy other people’s art, I forget that I am also good at something totally different. At these thoughts, I am filled with a strange feeling, it is not rage, that is what I used to feel before I became aware. It is self-love, and I am reminded that it is all okay. It is okay to experience all that is coming towards me. I am the one that projected it in the first place.
So, with so much love for myself, I bury myself in the work that I love to curate. Somebody once said, ‘work until you forget to eat and sleep’. I am not sure about missing sleep, but I have worked to the point of skipping some meals!
As I bury myself in this work, I still must remind myself that I should not put all my expectations before me. There are many possibilities that may come with the work that I put out there. The timing is something that I am going to be looking out for, but even that is a player of its own. To believe that all is working for me! It needs a staunch believer just to believe.
This could be you. I know, you are thinking that you are not like me. Well, that may be true, depending on what angle you choose to view it from. What stands though is that we are all creators. We all pour out our love, and time into our pieces of art. I could have said this enough times already, but, it is a fact that consistency pays.
Even consistent negativity builds up to more negativity. As craft may be passed down from one person to another through apprenticeship, consistency is never inherited. We are all potentiated to create, but the levels of creativity cannot be compared. Comparison would be so unfair.
As I conclude this, I ask myself whether I am doing this to please other people, or just me. It will be a message to some people, but I take it to be my message first and foremost. How much am I willing to give to my craft even before other people see it? I will surely give it my all. Besides, not everyone is going to have the same opinion when they finally see it. Those who read it, and listen to it, will have a different opinion from those who just read, and even they, will have a different opinion from those who get to hear it from others. So do yourself a favor, keep at it!